We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
