Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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