k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
