Betty ford says i'm here all night
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
