I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
