How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
