I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
