If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
