We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
