He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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