Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
