go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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