Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
