Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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