so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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