hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
