i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
