Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
