god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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