16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
