Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
