You smell like stripper and shame
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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