Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
