Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if only i could text you this smell
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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