Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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