I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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