bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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