I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
