I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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