in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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