So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
