it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
