Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So vagazzling was a success
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
