It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
