I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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