that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
