Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
