So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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