Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
