i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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