He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
