i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
