Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize