Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
