great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
