Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
