No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
