the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
