at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
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I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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