I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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