are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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