I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
