singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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