We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
