none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so let's talk penis.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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