I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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