How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How does one acquire holy water?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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