I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
