So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
