Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
