If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
