i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
