Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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