forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
