they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
my poor anus
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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