Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
