just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
