Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
